Refuse if she offers a handjob
this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
245 points (95.2% liked)
Funny
6767 readers
239 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Seems like a good knight out.
Naughty jokes aside, I would love that, laugh my ass off, and look forward to an amazing date.
Clearly, I'd put on my robe and wizard hat.
Going on a quest? Fuck yeah
Nope. Going ice skating and then out for sushi.
Close enough.
Wearing a full suit of armor, accomplishing either IS quite the quest 😄
I challenge her to a duel. If I win, I gain her hand in marriage. If she wins... I suppose I would have to give her my hand in marriage.
Win - Win sort of plan you have.
I see what you did there
I put on my robe and wizard hat. If the date goes well, maybe I'll show her my wand of magic missile.
Finally I could say "m'lady" without shame.
Break out some coconuts and become her faithful steed.
He have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join his court at Camelot.
Somebody call the locksmith!
Bras are bad enough, now I have to learn how to take off a hauberk?
Pledge fealty and marry her immediately
Wife.
CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK
Ok if you are wearing that then I'm wearing a wig, corset and big puffy dress.
gotta one-up her in masculinity, make sure the frills are at least twice the size of yourself, and the shoes pointy enough to inflict stab wounds.
raid.
Make sure the pageboys are still around, cause getting in that mail is gonna be a team effort.
Hope she Lays on Hands me
Invite her back to my place for some jousting.
If it wasn't the plan already, changing them to Medieval Times.
Oh... So I guess I can pass for a Wizard...
"Lo, see ye her, all gleamin' in her plate, like some manner of queen, sittin' high in her gilded carriage, thinkin' herself bettr' than us 'cause of her fine metal and steed of silver."
Drive to Constantinople, to party like it's 1204
Jolly cooperation is what I'd do
Fight her.
What a Dame!
Taking off that chainmail will rip half of her hair off. If that's your thing...
She should be okay if she's wearing one of those hair things underneath. I forget what they're called. It bunches up your hair like a shower cap and keeps your hair from getting in the armor
Edit: the girl here is not wearing one it seems though
It's called a coif. They also serve a critical part in terms of shock absorption.
Why would she ever take that off?
Not chain; it's knit cos
Thats a kind of a turnoff
Typically a person wears a cap of some sort under the chainmail so that hair doesn't get entangled.
Too much makeup ! Deal breaker.
Definitely pretty pointy elbows