this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
337 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

12269 readers
1400 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/46115108

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 131 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] casmael@lemm.ee 34 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Now it’s $43.17 - inflation is no laughing matter

[–] wiccan2@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Just need to wait long enough to make it three fiddy

[–] Breezy@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Tree fiddy.

[–] kartoffelsaft@programming.dev 2 points 2 weeks ago

Damn you, Sonic the Hedgehog!

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 8 points 2 weeks ago

more like rubbles

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I know it's a joke, but you've missed the dollar symbol. That's the fine in USD.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Literally the first part of the sentence lol

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 103 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Here ya go, googles. I got your back.

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago

A billion of those and you're still not even close to paying off that fine

[–] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The Weimar Republic has entered the chat.

Who knows how long that man had to work to earn that much paper? Twelve minutes? Thirteeeeen minutes?

Anyway, until inflation hits at least 4,130,772,540,007,917,373,294% Americans should really stop griping about it.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Because of the period of hyperinflation, one day I had a boss unwittingly hand me $500. She bent down and said, "Ooh! Someone dropped a quarter! Wait this ain't a quarter, what the heck is this?" She then handed me a 1934 500 Deutchmark coin. I told her what it was, and asked her if she wanted it. She said she wouldn't know what to do with it, so after I sold it, I gave her $75 as a 15% finders fee.

[–] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

That's actually really cool.

The only foreign coin I have came from a roll of quarters I got in 2015. Back when I visited the laundromat weekly. I stuck my quarters in the machine, but this one kept getting spit out so I checked it. I didn't recognize the characters on it, but I had an Iranian coworker who might so I took it to work and asked if she knew what it was. She immediately goes, "Oh! This is a dirham! It's from the UAE."

Turns out it was worth 23¢ at the time lol

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

One thing I forgot to mention, the thing that gave it away was it was cast out of aluminum, so it was really light. Probably worth a lot more these days, since this was about 16 years ago

[–] Bananigans@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly looks like Rock Band Bucks.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ArkyonVeil@lemmy.dbzer0.com 42 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] wick@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Earth's crust contains a bunch of atoms,[citation needed]

Lmao

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 40 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ha ha ha! What a funny Onion headline!

checks the community name

laughs 1000x harder

[–] the_toast_is_gone@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Most sensible Russian legal decision:

[–] SkyNTP@lemmy.ml 37 points 2 weeks ago

Missed opportunity to fine Google $1 googol.

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Google should send them a $50 Play store card instead

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ApeNo1@lemm.ee 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It should have been $Googol instead.

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

They double the fine each week so it will reach a googol eventually.

[–] Anafabula@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 weeks ago

That means we reach a googol in ~218 weeks ≈ 4.2 years.

I thought it would take longer.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 23 points 2 weeks ago

This is why people don't take Russia seriously.

[–] archonet@lemy.lol 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

is there a "non-credible economics" community?

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] archonet@lemy.lol 11 points 2 weeks ago

... I mean, yeah. lmao

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

!conservative@lemmy.world

Case in point: the most recent post there as of right now is a video by an Ancap accusing someone else of economic illiteracy 😂

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

Twenty putillion dollars

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Isn't that... More money than the GDP of the world?

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I think that $20 decillion not only blows the GDP of the planet out of the water, it is also several orders of magnitude larger than the entire valuation of the entirety of the planet including the core.

Edit: looked it up, and the GDP of 2023 was just over $100 trillion.

[–] Glitterbomb@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

So google got fined 2x10 ^ 34?

The earth is made up of 1.33x10 ^ 50 atoms. An A4 sheet of paper is made up of 8.37x10 ^ 23. Let's assume roughly a dollar bill is 1/8th of an A4 sheet, so 1x10 ^ 23.

The atoms in the dollar bill (10 ^ 23) multipled by the fine total (2x10 ^ 34) is 2x10 ^ 57.

This means if every atom on the entire earth was rearranged into dollar bills you wouldn't have enough money. You would need to do that to a million earths to pay that fine.

Disclaimer: I half assed this math on my lunch break and I trusted Google AI results for the atom counts

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 2 points 2 weeks ago

I value trees more than you

[–] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly based, EU should do the same

[–] legion02@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

Would paying a fine to Russia be a sanctions violation?

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Beat me to it

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 8 points 2 weeks ago

Following Putin's illegal invasion of Ukraine in 2022 more channels were added to the banned list and 17 stations are now suing the Chocolate Factory, including Zvezda (a TV channel owned by Putin's Ministry of Defence), according to local media.

How the fuck do you just casually say someone is suing a chocolate factory in stride without providing any further explanation. Wtf

[–] edwardbear@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago
[–] YeetPics@mander.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago

How about we just quantify, prorate and scale the damage they've done in Ukraine and give them an adequate amount of rubbles instead of rubles?

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Which will live longer? Google or Russia?

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

If Google pays it they could crash the global economy.

[–] bitwolf@lemmy.one 3 points 1 week ago

Even if Google wanted to pay the fine. It'd be all their money, their bills would lapse and YouTube would go down effectively removing their channels anyway...

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Is that 20 Google dollars, by chance?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›