It's tough. You are not alone.
this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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Off My Chest
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It definitely ends. I’m on the other side of that curve and every year goes by faster than the last.
Going to work…. Yeah, gotta eat. Paying off loans… yeah that’s how it goes, but one day they WILL be paid Finishing a project…. Only if you want to, otherwise pick a new one. Mastering a hobby…. Maybe just set the goal of enjoying the hobby? Take the pressure off yourself. It’s meant to be fun!
Do what you want to be happy. If you’re not happy, find something new to try!
They will take way too long to be paid. I'll be in my late 40s before some of them are done. They are also taking half my paycheck each month.
I understand being in that pit, I was there in my 20's and early 30's as well; deep, deep in debt with credit cards and student loans. But I was able to get out of debt in my late 30's, and then in my 40's things just started snowballing. I'm almost 50 and in really good shape financially now, but if you'd asked me in my 20's I would have sounded just like you. It takes a while to get going if you're not lucky enough to have a headstart from wealthy parents or something. I grew up poor as fuck so I know exactly what it's like to have not just nothing, but be net negative. Just don't give up or feel hopeless because as your career progresses it gets easier and easier.
And make sure you do find things that make you happy while you're plugging away at your obligations. That's really important.
I think the "This is Water" speech from David Foster Wallace gives a great perspective that feels relevant to this situation. There was a month or two where I listened to it every day on my way to work. It helped me through some shit.
Link for convenience: https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/
I believe this is what children do for a person. They give you a continuity that doesn't seem so monotonous. Just my take. I never wanted kids but did have them and it seems this way for me.
I believe there is some truth to that. I'm a single and poor male, so kids aren't something viable for me.
Lean on your irl friends for help with the stress. As far as the hobbies/projects/interests... there's nothing really wrong with trying a hobby, finding out it isn't really for you, then doing something else.
It took me roughly 20 years to finish the book I started writing. There were many times I doubted I ever would, but I did finally finish it, and that feels good. The next one shouldn't take quite as long, but it might still take 5 years. I'm ok with that, because I enjoy the process more than the end result.