Microblog Memes

Stuart Little - mice can't talk anymore

Could you imagine someone trying to make Hackers work in the modern day?

You couldn't make Home Alone 2 today because the creators would sue you for copyright infringement.

You can't make "The Princess Bride" nowadays because optimism and feel good emotions aren't things that we're allowed to have anymore.

The missing word is "boob", for the record.

To that bottom comment in the picture. You'd be amazed at how incompetent the TSA and other security staff can be at most airports.

I don't know if this is still accurate, but the TSA failed their surprise tests over 90% of the time.

They didn't stop the shoe bomber or the underwear bomber either. There's a term for what they are, "security theater". They make it look like they're doing something to protect you, when really all their doing is stealing whatever they can get away with stealing and fingering people's buttholes as often as possible.

You couldn't make Deadpool 1 today because it already premiered on February 12, 2016 and today is Sep 5, 2024, and it's philosophically impossible to make the same movie again.

Collateral with Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise because instead of hiring a taxi for the whole night it be easier to call a fresh Uber after each kill.

Arrival with Amy Adams because people would insist on using AI to translate the alien language.

Blow with Johnny Depp because of fentanyl ruining the ability to just snort a line of whatever whenever.

We couldn't make Night of the Living Dead because it's daytime.

You can. Airport regulations have no bearing on fiction, and the movie does not need to be set in present time either.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/24/travel/spirit-airlines-6-year-old-wrong-flight/index.html

But also once you're past security, which as I recall in the film where Kevin gets lost, he could definitely get on the wrong plane. Any sort of on flight check could easily be excused away with a new flight attendant or Kevin being covered by a cost or any other silly reason.

Really any movie that involves legacy telephones.

• Phone Booth: The whole movie
• Scream: "The call is coming from inside the house"
• The Matrix: "Pick up the phone!"
• Etc, etc.

You couldn't make Star Wars (1977) today because we haven't figured space travel yet

You couldn't make the super Mario live action movie in 2024, because Bob Hoskins is dead

You couldn't make Blazing Saddles these days because the kids wouldn't know why Howard Johnson, who's best known these days as a hotel chain, would be talking about protecting his ice cream stand.

Golfinger. I watched it for the first time couple years ago. I couldn't believe the misogyny. It was disturbing.