this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2024
676 points (99.7% liked)

NonCredibleDefense

6669 readers
338 users here now

A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


Join our Matrix chatroom


Other communities you may be interested in


Banner made by u/Fertility18

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ekky@sopuli.xyz 98 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Just detach the blades. You can always re-attach them when you've landed.

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 62 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Works as a secret weapon too.

Oh you think I've been disarmed? *smirks* AMATEUR *violently ejects rotor blades in all directions*

[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I was just thinking the entire rotor assembly detaches and the helocopter falls away from it. But I think I like your idea better.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 13 points 3 months ago

That's what the Ka-50 does

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 67 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Hear me out:

Seats that drop out of the bottom of the helicopter

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 50 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That way, the pilots can get to the ground first and cushion the impact of the helo 👌

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

Just do a barrel roll while ejecting so you shoot up. Try not to hit your wingman with your copilot tho

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Did it work? Like are the test subjects still alive lol that sounds like rear decapitation city

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 16 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I think the main problem with down-firing ejector seats was that they require a minimum altitude to work.

https://aviation.stackexchange.com/questions/1439/is-there-a-minimum-altitude-for-ejection-seats

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Some Russian helicopters do this

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago

How many of those are intentional?

[–] nullpotential@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Attach the ejector seat TO the helicopter blades so that they both eject and you get a cool propeller and can fly around and it can shoot lasers and stuff too.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Just eject the damaged parts. Viola

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 42 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Eject the helicopter not the seat. Duh.

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago

Too hard to accelerate the helicopter's larger mass to Mach 19. You might still damage the helicopter on the rotor blades.

[–] madcaesar@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Shoot the hostage!

[–] TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works 40 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

So basing off another comment. Have the Ejection seat tied to the rotor and shaft (not in a way that the chair spins. Duh)

Then (as long as rotor hasn't disintegrated) you can eject the seat with the rotor, thus minimizing filet chances... Whilst also floating to the ground softly like those whirly paper helicopter things you played with as a kid

Boom. Parachute free ejection seat

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 58 points 3 months ago

Hold up, let him cook

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Nah, just do it like they did in WW1; synchronize the ejection to the rotor blades so you fly through the gap, clean as a whistle.

(Please don't ask about our experiments with the earlier WW1 method of "Fuck it, just shoot the propeller sometimes, it'll be fine". Turns out that doesn't work so great when you replace bullets with people.)

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 3 months ago

Now this is the kinda content I subscribe to

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 33 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Fire the seat forward toward the enemy aircraft that forced them to eject to allow them to steal it.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago

Oh boy I love it when death is multiple choice!

  1. Fiery explosion
  2. Cuisinart of Doom
  3. Squeezing your brain into hips
  4. 9mm of lead therapy
  5. Other: __________
[–] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Sus. I watched AirWolf, and Magnum P.I. AND I've studied Leonardo di Vinci. Helicopters are next-gen tech and they don't crash.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I think i heard one time that helicopters can jettison the rotor so you dont get chopped up

[–] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Unfortunately, that won't stop the blades from spinning, meaning the danger isn't averted.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You shear the blades so they shoot outwards. I couldn't find an irl testing video, but here's a render.

https://youtu.be/a1kr651en7g

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Mainly just copium for the pilots. Helicopters aren't like airplanes where you have glide time and altitude to decide what to do after something bad happens. If you watch fixed winged ejections there's usually about 30 seconds to a min after something goes wrong before the pilot decides to bail. Helicopters go from everything being fine, to a debris field in seconds.

[–] Estiar@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago (3 children)

It's more about altitude than the ability to glide. Helicopters can do what's called Auto rotation, which means they actually can glide. If the blade seize up however, they can't autorotate. Helicopters fly a lot lower than most airplanes though, so they can't glide as far.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (3 children)

The Kamov does it.

The individual rotor blades are separated from the center with an explosive charge and their centrifugal motion carries them laterally away from the vehicle as the seat rockets straight up.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 19 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Why not blow the blades off first with a charge in the Jesus pin? Or have the seats eject siddeways or downward? Or like, open the door and jump out hoping you don't hit he rotors?

[–] sushibowl@feddit.nl 9 points 3 months ago

If you eject downward you may hit the ground before your chute has opened. Helicopters tend to stay pretty low.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Who would win?

Two human skulls 💀💀

One twirly boi 🚁

[–] RacoonVegetable@reddthat.com 8 points 3 months ago

Put some ERA on them skulls and you’re good

[–] Visstix@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I like all the serious answers as if this was a real option.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Admetus@sopuli.xyz 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think it's the Apache helicopter that stops the rotors instantly on eject. No need for Mach 13. I know this graphic is a joke though, I just remembered this cool thing about the helicopter.

[–] SpermGoobler@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

It's the KA-50/52

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Why not extend the seat sideway and eject that way?

[–] sushibowl@feddit.nl 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't know of any ejection seats that go sideways, but early F-104 models had a downward track ejection seat. The main issue is that parachutes need some time to open and helicopters tend to fly pretty low. So in most situations you wouldn't be in a safe altitude to actually eject.

Modern zero-zero seats can safely eject at any altitude, but they do so by using a rocket motor to fly upwards to a safe altitude for the parachute to open. So because of the rotors, helicopters generally don't have ejection seats. The exception is the Kamov KA-50 series. It has explosive bolts blowing off the rotors before ejection.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (9 children)

High chance the rotor has dramatically slowed if the eject is necessary

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] fin@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 months ago

straight to heaven

[–] PalmTreeIsBestTree@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (18 children)

Why not just eject sideways?

[–] Contravariant@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Heck if accelerating to Mach 19 in about 2 meters is acceptable you could just disable the rotors and only experience an acceleration of less than Mach 1 in just a few meters.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (17 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›