this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

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  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
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[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 59 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What in Sam hell is that even supposed to be? Like what did it say on the menu?

[–] clb92@feddit.dk 40 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Cheese is not supposed to look like that...

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 55 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

That’s a melted Kraft Single. At least they removed the plastic first.

Edit: Yes, they’re wrapped in plastic. Please don’t burn it.

https://news.kraftheinzcompany.com/press-releases-details/2023/Kraft-Heinz-issues-voluntary-recall-of-select-Kraft-Singles-American-Processed-Cheese-Slices/default.aspx

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] doughless@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago (7 children)

The outside plastic at least

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[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

That’s cheez.

[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's not cheese, that's yellow shrink wrap

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[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 34 points 5 months ago

It's like the recipe went through a game of telephone as it passed each state before reaching Iowa. I'd hate to see what Maine looks like

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 33 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Yup, I moved to an Iowa town with a lot of hispanic representation and was excited that there was a couple mexican restaurants in my area. The one everyone seems to love isn't THIS bad but its 100% made for white people "mexican" food. Thankfully, the hole the wall a couple blocks away is authentic.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago

The hole in the wall places are always the best, I think that’s true for most regional cuisines

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[–] send_me_your_mommy_milkers@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago (2 children)

The beans and rice bowls look pretty good, although I'll bet they're not spicy enough.

The cheese things... I can't even figure out what's supposed to be in there.

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[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

This photo reminds me of all the shitty restaurants that put the cheese on top of an omelette instead of inside it. And some of them are even using american slices.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 5 points 5 months ago (4 children)

American slices are a food crime in and of themselves already. If it doesn’t even meet the legal definition for being called “cheese”, it has no business going around and pretending.

I’ll make an exception for vegan cheese alternatives if they’re made out of natural ingredients but this shit is literally plastic.

[–] frostysauce@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

this shit is literally plastic.

It's cheese with sodium citrate added so it melts easier. It's not literally plastic; this take is false, outdated, juvenile, and completely overblown and hyperbolic.

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[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (5 children)

American cheese is cheese according to some links people posted. It is adequate for grilled cheese sandwiches.

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[–] UmeU@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (5 children)

I do sympathize with the hate for Kraft slices, I wouldn’t argue it… but I kind of like them on a burger sometimes. I like the texture and the way it melts.

If I want cheese with a capital C the I’ll go with cheddar or pepper jack or whatever, but if I want gooey cheese product then kraft it is.

Don’t tell me that there isn’t any single trashy food product you enjoy as a guilty pleasure.

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[–] t3h_fool@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This post is curiously short of details as to where such a feast is found in Iowa. I'll give you a hint: there is a lot of good Mexican food in Iowa. It is usually in hole-in-the wall restaurants that don't look like anything, and are owned by Mexican families. My guess is this food is from some sort of "family" restaurant. And the family is not Mexican or South American in ethnicity.

[–] LeFantome@programming.dev 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I am no online detective but I would guess this is from a restaurant called El Patron. There are a number of restaurants with that name in Iowa. As an example of one that claims to be “authentic”, checkout this place in Des Moines:

https://elpatroniowa.com/

My guess is that this place is owned by a Mexican family. I bet many other dishes they serve look more appetizing. Even with the crappy American cheese, this dish probably tastes better than it looks.

But what do I know? I am neither Mexican nor American. I have never eaten Mexican food in Iowa.

Edit: the logo matches this place in Waterloo. No website. Google reviews are pretty good. Not sure what expectations the residents of Waterloo have for their restaurants of course…

El Patron Family Mexican 301 East 4Th Street Waterloo, IA 50703 +1 319-287-8110

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&hl=en-ca&sca_esv=1f8e5c078ce6d86e&sca_upv=1&cs=0&output=search&q=El%20Patron%20Family%20Mexican&ludocid=5769528799628627540&ibp=gwp%3B0%2C7&lsig=AB86z5XMW8UwLWGck0lRL9eiVrKz&kgs=2a02ee476b81f132&shndl=-1&shem=lrnolc%2Clsde%2Clsp%2Cssim&source=sh%2Fx%2Floc%2Fact%2Fm4%2F3

[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

It's authentically made by a Mexican cook, but that dude fell on his head a lot as a kid.

[–] tamal3@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I want to downvote this, but I won't.

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[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

After moving from Chicago I was stunned at the lack of Mexicans around here, and the lack of food. After Hurricane Ivan we got workers to move here and now I can get legit Mexican.

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

At first I thought you said TO Chicago and I was like you can't throw a stick without hitting a good mex place in Chi town wtf....ohhhhh

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[–] Cuzscience@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] aport@programming.dev 19 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Google says that's El Patron in Waterloo Iowa, the menu shows "Pollo Fundido" which says it's covered in American cheese, so 🤷

Some other things on the menu look pretty good tho.

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

So OP... got what they ordered?

[–] atmur@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Can confirm, a restaurant near me serves a Pollo Fundido that looks exactly like this. Honestly it's pretty good but I have trash taste.

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[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

The white people platter

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is utter filth and an insult to the fine people and cuisines of Mexico. Fuck Iowa.

[–] starchylemming@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

that cheese alone is already an insult to cheese

[–] retrospectology@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

The hell? You guys are right next to Wisconsin, you should be able to get some real cheese...

[–] Today@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

When i go to Tennessee, I usually carry Texas Pete or a jalapeno in my purse because all the food tastes like a biscuit.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

LMAO! I bought a bottle of Tapatio last time I was in TN so I'd have something.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

I had a friend from ND visit and asked me for the patio sauce. The other 3 of us at the table had no idea until he pointed to Tapatio.

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[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Was that guacamole microwaved? Nevermind don't tell me, I don't think I can handle it rn

[–] legion02@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (3 children)
[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)
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[–] Pandantic@midwest.social 8 points 5 months ago

Idk man, the place by my house is really good and and serves nothing like this. The tacos are street tacos, served with verde and rojo. We do have a large Hispanic population in this area tho.

[–] HotboxedSubmersible@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Sad Mariachi noises

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