this post was submitted on 29 May 2024
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Autism

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[โ€“] samus12345@lemmy.world 56 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The original has always been one of my favorite comics and I love the follow-up even more:

[โ€“] optissima@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I've never seen this but I love it. One day...

[โ€“] samus12345@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago

Took me 48 years to figure out how to like myself and not rely on others for validation. You don't need the shield if you don't care what other people think. Easier said than done to get to that point!

Regarding the edited version specifically, if the person isn't willing to try to understand you, they were a shitty friend anyway. Still hurts to have to find that out, of course.

[โ€“] confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Many people get annoyed that I often give vague answers. If I over explain myself, they'll twist my words into a new meaning. I'm confused :D

[โ€“] optissima@lemmy.ml 25 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Yep! Don't forget, asking questions for clarity doesn't exist, questions are for attacking! Any questions you ask are because you're trying to subtly harass the person.

/s

[โ€“] insufferableninja@lemdro.id 18 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Nah, NTs ask each other clarifying questions all the time. You just have to use the right tone and not any of the 100s of wrong tones. No, I can't explain or describe the tone, you just have to know it.

[โ€“] Leg@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

I feel very silly for not realizing it could be my tone-deafedness making it hard to ask questions.

[โ€“] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

I only have the one tone and it's apparently the wrong one....

[โ€“] Dagnet@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

Fuck this happens so often, I ask a question and the person gets all defensive and then I need to explain I literally meant nothing just wanted to know the answer.

[โ€“] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ooo, I'm not so sure about that. It's kind of a negative expectation that could guide the direction of your conversations without you realizing it.

[โ€“] optissima@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What do you mean negative expectation?

[โ€“] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Assuming that people ask questions only to attack can lead to a negative bias in conversations. It's essential to recognize that someone seeking clarification may not intend hostility. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ‘

[โ€“] optissima@lemmy.ml 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry I should put an /s at the end of that comment... That was meant to be sarcasm (hence the exclamations).

[โ€“] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 months ago

Haha of course. I'm surprised autism threads aren't full of more people misunderstanding stuff.

[โ€“] Desistance@lemmy.world 0 points 5 months ago

This happens to me all the time. Which is why I don't care about conversations much anymore.

[โ€“] MalReynolds@slrpnk.net 11 points 5 months ago
[โ€“] NationProtons@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I'm getting older now and still feel I never really had a genuine connection with somebody else. How to work on this?

[โ€“] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It still happens with wife of 37 years.

[โ€“] optissima@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

You're going to couples therapy right? I can say that my wife is one of 3 that take the time to understand, and we're only 10 years in.

Edit: this was clarified, I'm sorry she deal with this too ๐Ÿ’•

[โ€“] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think they meant their wife has issues keeping friends

[โ€“] optissima@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

Thank you for clarifying!

[โ€“] Varven@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago
[โ€“] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 5 months ago

I am terrified of being biased so much that I come off as biased in the other direction

This is my strongest mood

[โ€“] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 0 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Real friends don't make friendships based on this or that opinion.... that's an internet thing.

[โ€“] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I actively avoid being friends with people that hold abhorrent opinions, like anything to do with overt racism, transphobia, etc.

[โ€“] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Most people's opinions tend to not be this extreme, however.

[โ€“] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Anybody that's part of a persecuted minority group should not put themselves in more danger by allowing people that don't recognize their right to exist into their social circles.

[โ€“] Leg@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

I think you're right. But it can be worth it to try to change a mind.

[โ€“] optissima@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

You don't have shared interests with your friends? I existed before Internet was a thing and I can confidently say it's not.

[โ€“] gnutrino@programming.dev 4 points 5 months ago

Maybe the true Scotsmen were the friends we made along the way?