this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024
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I propose the base measurement is a Reagit - equal to 36 bit states, or half-bits (36 was the age of Ronald Reagan when the transistor was first invented in 1947)
The next smallest is the Nuclearyte equal to the quantity of times the United States has proven technological superiority in war by using an atomic bomb offensively. So 2 Reagits is 1 Nuclearyte.
After that is the number of US presidents to have survived an assassination attempt (8) known simply as the ‘Merit (and don’t forget the apostrophe). 8 nuclearytes is 1 ‘merit.
Next is the number of years after the birth of Our Lord when Americans landed on the moon. 1969 ‘merits is 1 L-unit (pronounced like Loon)
Even bigger still is the number of amendments it took for the damn commie government to realize that alcohol is essential for human survival. The 18th amendment was a mistake, but the 21st amendment was blessed by Our Father who Art in Heaven without a doubt. 3 L-units is 1 chug
Next is the number of young men who died fighting for the rights of our United States to remain unquestioned by the damn commie federal government during the great war for individually united liberties between 1860 and 1865. 490,309 chugs is 1 Right
And so far we haven’t needed any larger measurements.
You literally have no idea why measurement units exist do you?
What community do you think we’re in? c/NewStandardProposals?
While humor is subjective, being wantonly ignorant isn't very funny, it's sad.
What do you mean? In what way am I being ignorant? I thought the whole idea was satirical and satire only works if you’re painfully aware of that which is being satirized. I think the empirical system of measurement is absurd since all the metrics are based off of completely subjective concepts. The only thing the empirical system is good for is being relatable to human minds. A foot is roughly a foot’s length. 100 degrees F is “hot” and 0 degrees F is cold. A cup is about a fistful. Etc.
Base 10 is a completely subjective concept as well. Why 10? Why not 12?
As far as those "subjective" concepts you are poorly satirizing, the reason they exist is because they are human-centric. 100f is "roughly" the temperature of the human body. A cup is roughly the size of your fist, etc. That is the value, not "the only thing" but THE THING. It is the reason the units exist!
A meter could just as easily be the length of my dick and a kilogram the weight of me balls, then we could create a whole system out of it and relate to all sorts of other arbitrary measurements based on water or an ideal hydrogen atom or the exact amount of time a carbon crystal oscillates in one rotation of the earth, or whatever. But all of those are so divorced from human's, you know the people who this measurement system is ostensibly for, as to be 100% arbitrary. Why do I care how long it takes light to travel from the moon and back, when I just want to buy a rope that I can use to tie my mule to a fence post out of range of my garden? I paced off 25 feet, so I'll take that length of rope please.
No I don't know what 833cm is. Please just give me 25feet.