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My son doesn't want me interacting with his friends (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago by liyah27@lemmy.world to c/parenting@lemmy.world

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I’m a single mother of a 12 year old boy and recently he told me he was gonna have some friends over, but he asked me if I could stay in my room while they hangout. After some arguing I did end up staying in my room for the most part outside of bringing them snacks/drinks. I was kind of hurt because I want to be that cool/friendly mom to my son’s friends and I want to get to know who my son is hanging out with. I’m definitely on the younger end for a mother of a 12 year old since I had him extremely early, so I feel like I’d be less embarrassing than other moms. Any time I’ve offered to chaperone for school events, he’s begged me not to. What should I do? Is this just a phase?

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[–] jeena@piefed.jeena.net 53 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I think your expectations are wrong. Perhaps at 8 you still might tolerate your mom hovering around but at 12? It's part of puberty to grow apart from your parents, it's just biology. You can be glad he is comfortable even bringing his friends to your home so you can meet them and talk to them at least a little bit.

The only a bit weird thing is that they get the whole house/apartment and you're confined to your room. I'm not sure about your living situation but it should be the other way around, they should be in his room.

[–] liyah27@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Thanks for the advice! I guess it’s just hard seeing him grow up so fast. I’ll give him his space and honestly you’re right about just being grateful he’s comfortable having his friends over.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 4 points 1 day ago

I think that’s the best attitude to have. Remember this, too: a little flexibility now might be painful, but it helps ensure that he’ll appreciate instead of resent you later on. His friends will like you, too, because you respect boundaries. I wish you the best!