this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
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For those who had good dads, what is it like? Is it like having a good mom but male? Can you share the problems in your life with them? Do you really love them? If they were to not exist now, would you miss them?
I'm asking the above to men here who had "good dads".
Sorry for the weird questions above. I could never imagine myself loving an older, authoritative male figure in my life. I think it's like a fully blind person not being able to imagine colors? I'm not sure.
Like... Do you feel comfortable around your dad? Does it not feel confining? Like there's this void standing next to you, consuming all of the oxygen in the room?
For those with good dads, were they humble? Did they accept their mistakes? Did you feel comfortable going to them for support?
These are really valid questions! I'm a fiercely pro dad woman, and I'll try to answer. IME people's relationship with their dad tends to be different to their mom, they're two different roles and two different people. IME people tend to go to dad for practical stuff (financial advice, DIY, moving things etc) and mom for home based practical and lengthy emotional discussions. Dad will also do emotional stuff, but often different style eg pep talks. For protection stuff, IME people go to dad.
Yes I love and miss my dad very much. A good person accepts mistakes, no matter what their role. And you can always go to a good parent cos they're always safe.
I'm sorry you didnt get the dad all children deserve. Have you found !dadforaminute@lemmy.world People post when they need dad style advice or a hug.
Oh noooooo your inputs are still very helpful, don't worry. I still appreciate you replying haha.
I just had a slight preference for men and their dads because I figured I could relate to it better. I've seen dads generally being nice with their daughters, but absolute assholes to their sons (at least growing up in India). I figured that the perspectives would thus be different, that's all.
Thank you. At least the good part is that I don't know how much I have missed (if I have at all). I've never really seen a "good dad" closely I suppose.
I have, but I think my childhood still haunts me here. My hatred for older men with authority prevents me from going even close to this, or even being remotely comfortable with the idea of a "dad". It may be illogical or nonsensical, but hey... ig I need therapy for this lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thanks mate I re edited my comment to put it all back incase it's helpful. And absolutely, gender can make a big difference to how a child is treated. It is kinda good that you don't know what you've missed. I get what you mean about childhood still haunting you, it's really hard to unlearn things we learned back then. Therapy can really help, it can change how we think... it's about self development not things being wrong with us
Its slightly funny that this person asked for a man's perspective yet you chimed in anyways, a bit ironic don't you think?
Hey, no, I don't find it ironic or whatever. Ladybutterfly was trying to help, and that's all that matters. They were kind, they cared and offered resources. That's all that should matter.
Thanks shades, didn't click about that. Really appreciate you pointing it out.
OP said "for those" could mean anyone. Plus, why see gender at all? Doesn't affect how you see a parent, or at least it shouldn't.
Literally says men only lol
My mistake, I did miss that line. Premice stands, though, and in the end. Who cares?
If you see the way they treat people for not reading in their spaces it is chuckle worthy