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Did anyone else used to have a very jealous partner, especially from trauma? (thelemmy.club)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

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We will talk it out, I’m not venting but rather just wanted to talk about it.

So, my fiancé “David” (17M) and I (18F) are quite clingy. We have trauma and abandonment issues. I’ll admit, I’m working on my flaws early in our engagement and getting to know each other more. My flaws are: when I miss David, I really miss him. I try not to get upset when he calls his friends and I can’t join. He would let me, but sometimes I get asocial LOL.

David can also be clingy and text several times in the span of 10 minutes if I don’t respond. We are both clingy. This is normal, I believe, and I’ve seen 40 year olds who are married do this, but David can get very upset at the fact I have man friends despite the fact that he has woman friends.

David and I got engaged earlier this month and have been dating for several months after his previous toxic relationship “Josephine” broke up with him.

Josephine would constantly insult him, cheat on him, and abandon him like several people would already do to him. Josephine really messed him up after the breakup, so he gets really mad at a guy I have known even before I was friends with David, Matthew (19M).

Matthew is straight (we are all allies though), just like everyone mentioned in this post, but he already has a girlfriend and has made it clear he has no romantic feelings for me or anyone else who isn’t his girlfriend.

I told David I wouldn’t let Matthew call me pretty again because he complimented my outfit and David got angry. David, though, has trauma. I don’t need advice, just a discussion, and we will both work through our PTSD and abandonment issues. ❤️ 💍

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[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I’d just say that communication is key, and it sounds like therapy may not be a terrible idea for David for him to help unpack some of his trauma from his previous relationship. You’re not his ex and the jealousy and mistrust he seems to be displaying may very well drive a wedge into the relationship. A friend complementing your outfit isn’t a necessarily a romantic gesture and it would really suck for that kind of thing to introduce resentment into the relationship. That kind of thing can really fester. It’s good that it sounds like you’re both able to be honest with how you’re feeling.

[–] relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club 2 points 2 days ago

Thank you ❤️ we are trying to be healthy