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for the non-pedologists:
Sandy clay is a textural box on the soil triangle. It's small and requires the absence of silt. The reason we joke about them not existing is because of the size of the box and how far apart the two grain sizes are. There are very few scenarios where sand and clay would be deposited and not silt.
Imma be honest. I have tried my fucking hardest to learn this multiple times trying to roughly figure out what the best kind of foundation for stuff is and what I need to do to have better soil for vegitables, but it's impossible to do without hands on instruction.
It also doesn't help that topsoil where I am is often hummus due to leaf decomposition so it's hard to figure out if I actually have "loam" or it's something else, but also the fact that since I live on the side of a ridge you get like 3 types of "sand heavy" soil if you dig out a 4x4x2 box.
https://websoilsurvey.nrcs.usda.gov/app/
Use this tool. Click the green button on the webpage, search up your location, on the toolbar click on the red square and draw a box around your yard, click soil map. On the left of the screen, you'll see a list of soil types on your property with their textures
Damn this one helped a ton. Apperantly it's gravely sandy loam, but they 100% have the rock composition wrong, but that's to be expected because my property is on a ridge.