this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2024
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egg_irl — Memes about being trans people in denial and other eggy topics
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!egg_irl
!egg_irl is for widely relatable memes about questioning one's gender or being an egg (a trans person in denial) as well as other eggy topics.
If you are looking for a place to discuss something specific to you or especially if you need help or are in crisis, we have communities and resources that can support you linked at the bottom of this sidebar.
General Rules:
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No bigotry.
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No spam, bots, or vote farming.
Rules on Content:
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No reposts.
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No personal-life posts, bingo cards, quizzes, selfies, "trans/not trans" lists, picrew, or non-memes.
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No visible names or usernames.
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Do not post or link to pornography.
Rules on Post Titles and Tags:
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Posts must be titled "egg_irl". An emoji or two is OK, but they have to be between "egg" and "irl".
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Posts that assume the viewer's gender and/or contain potentially triggering content must be spoilered and tagged at the beginning of the post title. Example content-warning tags that you can copy include the following:
[CW: Assumes Viewer is Transmasc][CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem][CW: Assumes Viewer is Nonbinary][CW: Transphobia][CW: Violence][CW: Weapons/Firearms][CW: Disturbing Imagery]
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You may optionally include other tags, such as:
[Transmasc Meme][Transfem Meme][Nonbinary Meme][Gender-Nonspecific Meme]
Rules on Post Text:
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If possible, include an image description for accessibility.
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Add sources for art.
Rules on Comments
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If a post is tagged with a specific gender identity, keep the conversation centered on that identity.
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You must follow the Egg Prime Directive. You may not push or coerce people into identifying or not identifying a certain way. You must respect them as the gender they claim to identify as. In addition it is extremely in poor taste to make assumptions about other people's identities based on external factors, we understand it cannot be helped but it is best not to as it can affect the way you treat others in noticeable ways.
Recommendations:
We strongly encourage you to include your pronouns in your account bio so that others know how to refer to you without misgendering you. If you're questioning or unsure of your pronouns, that's totally cool—just say so.
Sibling Meme Communities
- !traa (or search for https://lemmy.ca/c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns in your instance if the link doesn't work)
Sibling Non-Meme Communities
- !transgender (or search for https://lemmy.ml/c/transgender in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !trans (or search for https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/trans in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !ftm (and transmasc) (or search for https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/ftm in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !mtf (and transfem) (or search for https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/mtf in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !nonbinary@lemmy.one (or search for https://lemmy.one/c/nonbinary in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org (or search for https://beehaw.org/c/lgbtq_plus in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !lgbtq_plus@lemmy.blahaj.zone (or search for https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/lgbtq_plus in your instance if the link doesn't work)
Community Resources:
- The Trevor Project / 1-866-488-7386 — A US-based crisis prevention and intervention hotline and community
- TransLifeLine / 1-877-565-8860 — A US-based trans peer support hotline
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible — An in-depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria
- Trans Resources — A directory of resources for trans, non-binary, and gender-non-conforming people
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory — A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers
- Trans Resistance Network — A US-based mutual-aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project — Advice about insurance claims for trans healthcare procedures
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library — A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document
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Encouraging gender identity as a choice diminishes the struggle of trans people today. I'm not against it in principle, but the current political climate doesn't have room for this stuff. Give society 20 years to figure out how to be equitable berore peddling this narrative.
Is that the take away from the comic? I see it as more someone trying to explore through clothing and someone saying theyw would be supportive?
Are we so defensive we can't even have that anymore? Are we unable to discuss gender presentation and identity detached from transition? What about nonbinary identities? Some people explore that and transition, some don't.
Are we really supposed to be regressive and call it self protection? Are we at the "respectable transgender" era along with "I'm gay but I don't know about this trans stuff" already?
He is someone who already transitioned (transmasc) and still enjoys wearing feminine clothing, what the girl did here can feel very very invalidating and dysphoria inducing because despite passing she still sees them as a girl. For me situations like that make me feel hella dysphoric.
I'm in femboy communities and I know many of them also dislike when this happens to them as well, but it doesn't compare to the gender dysphoria I get from people still thinking I'm a girl.
I agree that we really do need to discuss gender identity and presentation separate from transition, I also think we need to discuss presentation separate from gender identity, after all if boys are allowed to wear skirts, why do people naturally assume we must be girls if/when we do?
I didn't realize there was deep lore in an egg_irl post, i took it as the comic it was.
Without that background information, (that is not included unless i stalk the OP, which doesn't feel like it would endear anyone to my participation) it feels close to a comic could reinforce the "you can't win trying to be supportive to queer people these days" energy since there's nothing clear about there being a boundary made by the other person in the comic? Maybe there's something i missed on the lemmy ui, I'm willing to admit!
As an older queer i am not quite sure when we decided clothing meant anything (again) since growing up it was something we already tried to work on in the queer community, just look into lesbian spaces and their attempts to uncouple femininity from being required to dress up. Have binary identities and enforcing trans people to present a particular way backfired into hyper gendered expressions being required?
Another question is how can the community help individuals vulnerable to invalidation of parts of their identity? I know everyone needs support as a whole and in general in their lives. The ability to stand strong in yourself in the storm can't be manufactured without a foundation, and how do we help newbies find that with the atmospheres as tense as they are, even in queer spaces?
It's okay, I forgot to mark it as Transmasc and Transphobia. Without that there's no way anyone else could've known.
I never intended to have that message, was just trying to share a situation which was uncomfortable and invalidating for me due to someone else assuming my gender (thinking I am AMAB transfem when I'm AFAB and transmasc).
I don't know if as you said binary identities and expectations of trans people have backfired as you said, I do know that people who follow gender stereotypes have had a tendency sort of force them onto others. It happens a lot to femboys and people say they are an egg or transfem. Which isn't great on its own but in my case I'm a femboy and transmasc so it's worse.
It's hard but I think that having such rigid expectations of presentation isn't helping. Like, so what if I was AMAB and looked and dressed the way I am, so what. Why would that make me a girl or egg? That doesn't seem helpful, and at least for an AMAB femboy it wouldn't be exactly harmful, it's not always obvious that they are. I've met many enbies who had similar experiences with invalidation from gender stereotypes and it sucks.
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